Bad Influence

When the summary itself says, "Based on a YA novel originally published on Wattpad," you know you're going to hit the jackpot for category of: trash you somehow can't stop watching. Was I questioning my life choices within the first five minutes of turning this on? Yes. Did I keep watching? Absolutely. Do I regret it? I'm on my fifth glass of wine; I would fight God if he challenged me, I regret nothing. The premise is simple: a millionaire's teenage daughter is being stalked and her life is threatened, so her father hires a former teenage convict to protect her, granting him freedom in exchange for guarding his daughter. Why didn't this millionaire hire a well-respected, expensive, professional bodyguard company? Because FUCK logic, that's why. Anyway, someone keeps trying to kill this girl, but we don't care about that because we are too busy waiting for them to get it on. And when they do, well, it would make every respectable thirtheen-year old blush. That is the targeted audience for this: thirteen-year-olds and me. At first, they hate each other, but then, through a series of badly scripted, hilariously clichéd conversations, they start to realize they are not so different and then they fuc- fall in love. Who would've thought? How clichéd, you ask? They BOTH have dead mothers. They couldn't be more different; she's sheltered and uptight, and goes to a very rich, private school where she has two friends: the Designated Fat Friend Character, and the Designated Alt Bisexual Character. Together, they are there to give us zero personality between all three of them and to show thirteen-year-old girls everywhere that rich people can be nice too. He is tortured and jaded, and there to show her there is more to life than school—mostly parties and his penis. And then they discover they are connected by a dark secret from the past (remember the dead mothers?)—a secret you figure out within the first three seconds of them setting up that storyline, maybe five if you're slow. So now, even after they've gotten it on, we don't care about whoever is trying to kill this girl because we've already figured out the plot. Either way, her being stalked and threatened is about as frightening as s daffodil. But hey, this is Wattpad we are talking about; the predictability is part of the charm. Anyhoo, they figure out the truth, there is a big showdown, everyone is happy now. The End. I feel like with Wattpad you can give one star or five, it means the same because the good is intertwined with the bad 😂 What can I say, there truly is some sort of secret ingredient to these that keeps people coming back, even though we all KNOW it's trash. I feel like the cringe is now part of the experience. Those who grew up with Wattpad will know exactly what to expect; the movie is very straightforward in its simplicity and it gives you exactly what it promises. And again, probably targeted at thirteen-year-olds, but nevertheless, here I am, so now you all have to suffer with me too.